Cover of Crazy Love by Brian McKnight: https://youtu.be/oiHBgK_Qhu0
Having been very busy over the last few weeks, the household chorus have been suffering.
More,specifically, my bedroom.
I have been dropping hints around my kids that it would be a nice surprise if I come home and my bedroom was all tidy.
It clearly has fallen on deaf ears.
So I decided a different approach. The “bribe” 🙂
I asked who wanted to earn 5 pounds for tidying up my room.
My youngest one jumped to it.
The eldest one pretended he didn’t hear me and the one in the middle, told me calmly that she wants 10 pounds for that chore, trying to get me to negotiate with her.
Unfortunately for her,as I already stated, her sister already started therefore there was no need for the negotiation to take place.
What took place in my nucleus family is exactly what takes place in our wider society.
Unemployment is a big problem, not because there are no jobs but because the jobs available are not offering us the right value for money.
We consider that we are worth more than what is on offer.
Whether this self assessment is right is another story.
What those values are differs from one person to another.
Because this difference is in self valuation, you will get others who will accept the jobs that you consider not worthy enough of your time and skills.
Yes, it appears at the surface that those who came from a not Western community are willing to accept, meager paying jobs.
Think about it though, if 30 pounds feeds a family of 5 for a whole month, in their own country, earning 200 pounds a week, means they are way on top of the game.
All they have to do is invest their money in their homeland and if done in a smart way, soon,they will leave their meagre jobs, return home and live as king and queen.
It’s all about looking at the bigger picture and be open to non conventional ideas.
Explore your options outside the box.
Know your worth and your value, act accordingly.
Recently I attended a birthday party.
On my way to the party I noticed I was feeling apprehensive as I wasn’t sure who I was going to meet there.
To be more precise, I wondered if I was going to meet my two ex business partner, as that’s how I was introduced to the celebrant.
Fact, I wasn’t even sure what the celebrant himself actually thought of me and the main reason I decided to go was, my kids.
They love him so much and I didn’t want to deny them spending time with their favourite “uncle”.
As soon as I arrived, I knew I had nothing to worry about.
It was a great evening in it’s own right.
I mean, food,music, great people, the perfect combination 🙂
At one point during the evening, The birthday boy and I ended up alone in the kitchen and we started talking.
A lot was said but the most significant one was about perspective.
My friend told me when he first met me, he thought of me as just being a nice girl.(a dime a dozen,lol) but that he was wrong because I am in fact, awesome, that he actually “gets me”.
To which I responded with a very weak:”okay”. Which clearly wasn’t an acceptable response for him.
He continued to say if I could only see what he sees,then I would know that I am awesome. He proceeded to tell me to do something very simple but very significant; He told me to cover one of my eyes and look at him,next, cover my other eye, look at him again.
Basically same person,different picture.
This is what life is all about: perspective.
Change your focus, you change your perspective, you can see solutions which were right in front you all this while but you couldn’t see before.
That same night I was granted the opportunity to show just how awesome I really am. More about that another time maybe.
The shift in me, my thinking is great, I applied for a job which I know I have the skills to do but don’t have the qualification and guess what…yep, this morning received a call from the company, the lady stated, you don’t have the right qualifications but your skills are clearly fitting to the role and having this conversation with you, I want to invite you for an interview.
Boom! This is how we do it!
I ROCK and so do you my lovely reader, go and follow your dreams!
Some time ago, my youngest daughter said to me: “Mum you’re always saying hello and have conversations with her(the mum of one of her friends), do you know she doesn’t like you?”
I looked at her, asked her how she knows this, to which she responded that her friend told her.
I observed two things about myself: 1.I smiled ,as I thought, bet you the mum didn’t intend for her daughter to relay that information to my daughter.
2. It didn’t bother me! Now this means a big shift has taken place within me ,as previously that would have driven me absolutely crazy and a compulsive obsession to find out why this person doesn’t like me would have been invoked,
I continued to greet and have conversations with the lady, asked her how she’s feeling, when she’s due to give birth etc.
Her daughter recently had a birthday slumber party to which my daughter was also invited so I told her that she’s brave having a bunch of pre-teens over whilst being heavily pregnant.
In short, at no point, I made her aware of the fact that I know her “secret” 🙂
Then, recently, when I was walking up to our local community centre to go and wait for my kids, I heard someone calling my name.
I turned to discover that it was the “mother”.
When I reached the car, she gave me a big smile and said:”look, I had the baby.”
I was happy to notice that I was genuinely happy for her and was overwhelmed with emotions looking at the precious miracle, sleeping in the baby seat. The fact that she called out to me came as a pleasant surprise ,as it connotates that she wanted to talk to me.
It goes even further, as I offered to have her daughter for the weekend so she can have some rest and time just her and the baby, she accepted that wholeheartedly. Maybe she still doesn’t like me but she clearly trust me 🙂
The result: laying here on my bed, hearing the laughter of my daughter and her friend.
I smile, I get it wrong lots of times but this time is not one of them.
I am grateful to be part of a wholesome village, where we may disagree on the peripherals of life but the core values and morals are aligned.
A village where my children know that they have “uncles & aunties” who will set them straight!(yes big softy mum cringes but allows it because it is the right thing to do lol)
Brothers and sisters to have fun with, work with, protect and correct.
A village where I can share my ups, my downs,my visions and my fears.
Challenge yourself daily, renew your mind continually.
For weeks I have been banging on to Shadrach about his hair, telling him he has 3 choices :canerow, cut or start taking time to comb it properly!
The response was a resounding :No,followed by :”I like my hair like this!”
Today I came home and told him we’re going to uncle Angel’s house this Saturday for his birthday get together.
10 minutes later he comes downstairs telling me that he has decided to let me canerow his hair!
You see, it truly takes a village to raise a child. Where I seem to get nowhere in certain areas, just the mention of certain people names makes him to make positive choices.
This is not about me relinquishing authority.
It is about recognising my strengths AND my weakness.
I know a lot of single women go from men to men to fill that void but the truth is that behaviour is neither healthy nor productive.
It is better to surround yourself with people who can serve as positive role models, people who you share the same moral and values with.
Yes I am blessed to have these people in my life as I regularly go: Do you think Dean (100bmol) will be happy with that Attitude? Or I hope Dunstan (100bmol) will tell you of for coming dressed like that.
It’s great to be part of a healthy village.
I am grateful that I am partaking in the happiness and joy of my friends and family.
Some of them are pregnant, some getting married, some just falling in love and are being loved back.
Some moving to different countries, some moving to London.
I am just so excited about it all and so honoured and privileged to be included in their joy.
It was so nice to be at work with my colleagues. We were talking about our different cultural backgrounds and what we have learned so far from each other. Really positive vibe. Grateful to be part of such a lovely team.
Challenge yourself daily, renew your mind continually.