Roller coaster Life

At 20:45 my Facebook Messenger phone rings,.
It’s my college days, room mate, a.k.a my Big Bro (B.B).
I gave him that title after he stood up for me in a club, where a guy was harassing me and B.B could see that I was not liking it! When we came home that night, he told me off for not asking him for help to start with and I told him I didn’t want to disturb his “game”. Hey don’t judge, I was 18! 🙂
Living with B.B was bittersweet, when I was ill, he was the best room mate ever, cooking the most delicious meals for me, however B.B. also had a temper and when things didn’t go his way, run for cover! And that was exactly what I did, I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, after one day, he punched a hole through my bedroom door, in a fit of severe jealousy.

But back to the phone call.

It was very sad news that he was bringing me.
He’s been hospitalised for a while and diagonised with cancer and he’s pretty much at the end of his life. His words :”it’s game over for me sis.”  sounded like there has been a bouldering thunder, scattering a million windows, simultaneously! I knew he purposely choose to use those words, bringing us back to the very beginning of our friendship.
Even though we hadn’t spoken with eachother in ages, the tap of tears was turned open to full capacity! Despite my B.B being in severe pain, he was still joking, talking about our experience together whilst being room mates.
As per usual when I am confronted with news like this, I start reflecting on my own life.
Even though I am making substantial progress, I still to a certain degree, hold back, not asserting myself enough and also not surrendering myself completely. As a matter of fact, I am still allowing my mind to take me to negative thoughts and emotions, where there is no reason for that.
No more of that! Today is the day of change.
One more last thing before I jump and do a free fall : B.B my time spent with you felt like being on a roller coaster, absolute fabulous awesome times interchanging with absolutely frightening times, when I literally feared for my life but through it all ,one thing remained, love. Despite all, I will always love you, not Eros love but Fidelio love. After all, you are my Big Brother! I love you B.B. Hope to see you before you tranfer to next realm of reality, if I don’t, we will meet again, in another time and another place .

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